Migrant crisis, bad, not got much time to despair over the 75k signatures on the “STOP IMMIGRATION” petition but fuck the electorate anyway. Just started Sixth Form so only got time for mini-essays like this, in response to a chap called Dave Smith.
You might not be surprised to learn that the Press can be a little bit biased at times. For instance, after Ed Miliband threatened Murdoch’s media empire, the Labour party lost any possibility of any support, or at least apathy, from his many newspapers.
Nationalism won’t solve the problems of the past. The union was blamed then, but now dangerously remains a scapegoat.
Cooperation through unionism is the best way to move towards a fairer, more progressive world. So whilst one can “understand” nationalism, and the reasons for it per se, it’s really not the best way to go forwards now.
Just as it’d be foolish to leave the EU rather than reform it and make it work better for everyone involved, it’d be a shame to kill off the UK when it has so much potential to enhance quality of life if it works, united, for the majority of people rather than the few who currently control it and benefit from its extraordinary wealth.
I wrote this piece as a practise for my English Language exam, but as it’s mostly true and I haven’t been writing much here because I’m oh-so-busy preparing for exams (just kidding – my The Thick of It box set arrived), I thought I’d write it up here and publish it.
As an alternative to my piece on how much I liked my new Nexus 6, that is…
On returning from a shopping trip, one of the items you bought turns out to be faulty. Write an entry for a blog in which you inform readers of the faults with your product and explain how customers can avoid the problems.
I write to you, dear readers, with the most noble frame of mind a blogger could have, for today I shall be giving consumer advice – epitome of the average ‘consumer’ thus so well-placed to give advice, as I am. For, this time a fortnight ago, I was happily whiling away the hours I really should have been spending revising, tapping and swiping away at my phone of two years, the very fine (if slightly slowing, battery-drained and no-longer-waterproof version I had ended up with) Sony Xperia Z.
A couple of days later, it turned out, O2 was insisting that I got an upgrade. What a hard life it is. In all my technological wisdom (such as it is), I chose a Nexus 6.
If you don’t know, the 6 uses Android 5 (that’s the superior operating system and you’d better agree) and also as its name suggests, has quite a beautiful 6 inch screen. Seriously, nearly 500 ppi. And it’s fast. Like, technically the same as one average PC at my school, except that it’s not running Windows, so it was the fastest device I had ever experienced the joy of using.
Alas, you may notice my use of past tense, because whilst I can do one stupid thing and possibly get away with it, doing two at once really does lead to the sort of tragedy that brought tears (literally) to my friends’ eyes.
As you might know if you read my musings regularly, I long ago challenged the societal assumption that sport might be in any way beneficial to anyone. What I did one fateful Thursday (four days ago…), was take my advice. Stupid thing to do number one, therefore, was actually taking part in my government-mandated PE lesson, which meant I had to change my clothes. Stupid thing number two was having – and this is where the problem with the phone comes in – a pretty fragile sheet of glass that didn’t really fit in my pocket and was fairly susceptible to slipping out.
So indeed – tissues at the ready if you’re the sort of sad individual upon whom I regularly impose my presence and the “beacon-of-hope-and-joy-and-definitely-not-sarcastic” attitude that comes with it – the inevitable happened and the phone fell as I got changed.
Now, I blame the phone for this. If it didn’t insist upon having a design that made it so delightfully sleek and shiny on the back, coupled with its incredibly aesthetically pleasing glass frontage, it might not have had a problem coping with dropping on to a concrete floor. In fact, had it been a bit more durable – listening up here, I hope, Motorola – and say, literally a bit more like a brick, or ten-kilo chunk of titanium, it might not have completely shattered.
‘Literally a brick’ would be a great marketing slogan for the next great communication method – it’s the sort of way you’d be happy to let your local UKIP office ‘pick up a message’ (and the remnants of their window), wouldn’t it?
Advocating oppressive criminal damage as I’m seriously not, I have learned on a fairly difficult path that phablets and pockets don’t mix. But the Nexus 6 as an example…I mean, how awful is the quality, in two weeks the screen quality is now rubbish, the typing is unresponsive, and every time you use it, you get tiny shards of glass in your finger! Now, I might have dropped it, once, but whose fault are those problems really? That’s right, the people who decided that the numbers had to correspond to the screen size and had already used ‘5’. Never my fault.
I have learned though, and in tangentially sharing this most scarring (seriously, my index finger is peppered…) of experiences with you, I hopefully have conveyed an important message: get an Xperia Z3, it’s small enough to fit in a pocket and durable enough to survive a whale fart or something.
Actually, the reason the insurance company is giving me the Z3 (tech specs – slower, better camera) is because they don’t have any more Nexus 6s, but maybe it’s a good thing because my last Xperia lasted forever. Famous last words, I’m sure.
So finally to the point of this article (sobbing as the nerds are at the cruel mistreatment of my phone) – consumer advice:
Buy trousers with large pockets.
Get a case, for goodness’ sake! Cases cost £5; insurance premiums for top-end smartphones are significantly more.
If a phone is larger than your hand (or other applicable areas, like your face, where you can’t reach the microphone when your ear’s on the speaker), it’s a bad idea.
“Mine’s bigger than yours” is an odd way to start a conversation with someone just because they’re holding a phone.
Insurance policies will stop you from crying for quite as long.
Most crucially, though, I finish with this: DO NOT DROP PHONES (and aside from my anecdote – especially not down the toilet, it is disrespectful to the designers). And all this from the person putting a great deal of effort into convincing his school that “pupils would be sensible with expensive devices” by pointing out what condition his are in.
Nevermind. I didn’t like having any sense of credibility anyway.
(Not brought to you by Sony – but if they fancy paying me, I do think the Z3 looks quite good.)